It’s not every day you’re told someone likes you and you get threatened to be put in someone’s van o.O

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I haven’t been like this in a while. I’m in the mood for a rant, so I’m going to do it.

Men.
Specifically gay men.
Why do they have to move so quick?
Few messages or txts, meet once in town when you’re with a friend. Suddenly they want to know you, want to engage in a relationship with you and have 454543 babies.

What happened to dating, getting to know someone slowly, lust, falling in love?
That’s why my first and only relationship recently ended. Too quick and I didn’t feel the same. It’s still a fresh wound, and I don’t appreciate people trying to make me move on so quick. I can’t forget it happened.

It dissapoints me how the typical gay world is all about the scene and sex. I don’t go out and get paraletic every weekend. I don’t have sex with every guy I look at. I don’t jump in a vat of orange fake tan and wear hotpants that don’t cover my arse.
I’m not your sterotype. I’m sick of being tainted by it.

Which leads me onto my next thing.

Pride.
It’s here in 3 weeks. I want to be noticed by an atrractive guy, or make somenew friends, unlike last year. But I know that I’d have to be shirtless with a six pack (not that I don’t have one :P) and wear bright pink hot pants, orange paint and some kitten heels.
I like to celebrate who I am, what I am, support things. But is that really the way? Slutting about and getting drunk? Yes, I like to enjoy myself as much as the next person, and I’ve gotten more comfortable doing so in these last few months. I’ve become confident again. I don’t need to be silly like that. There’s more important things in life.

Although;

I’ve got my spark back. No longer being over-shadowed by people who thought I was a freak, a waste of space. I’m happy. And that’s rare. I have a bloody good job, bit tiring, but worth it, made some lovely new friends, and I feel almost complete.

I have my own space, a bed FINALLY, my beautiful cats who I love dearly, my music and no one who can judge me as I pretend I’m Leona Lewis and wail like a banshee. I’ve found confidence talking to people face to face, I’ve grown more as a person, and for once, I’m starting to like myself.
I don’t feel the need to sort my head out anymore. I rarely have my ‘Jean Slater days’ as I call them. I’m constantly up…unless I’m sleepy :P

I’ve recently gained a lot of new friends. And I honestly think they’re amazing. They’ve improved my life. They’ve proved I’m funny, (though mostly cos I’m so thick), I’m liked, I’ve even had compliments on the way I look. More than I can usually handle. But I can accept it. Which is hard, but I have. I’m truly grateful to spend time with them.

Obviously, I’d like to find true love. But it takes time, I know that. But right now, I’ve got enough. I just hope others learn to appreciate what they have.

I haven’t posted in ages…AGAIN.

Err..what has happened?

Atomic Kitten are back, got a lovely boyfriend, a proper good job, a Nemo teddy (ty La Muvva) had a trip to London that was fun (minus the aching feet) broke my toe, walked into a lightswitch last night, now suffering like a bitch from hayfever/flu/manflu/lurgy.

in other news, i went Tesco today and got Pear Drop squash. FIT!

Hmm..I think I should be using this more…